Opinion: It’s Not Premature Ejaculation, It’s Called Coitus Skip

Was that good for you? Because it was good for me. In fact, look at these splits, chat. Lots of saved time, these are going to be tough PBs to beat. Wait, what did you say? Hold on, chat. You didn’t finish? Man, she’s DNF, chat, that’s rough. You’ve just got to stick with it, you’ll get there. What’s the female orgasm any% category like right now, anyway? I haven’t really been following.

Wait, where are you going? I was going to show you how rocket storage works in Sunshine, remember? What, it wasn’t good for you? That was like two seconds off of my PB, what other guys have you been with that have had better times?

Oh, God damn it. I think I see what’s happened here. There was a total communications breakdown here. We wanted different things. I was going for any%, and you were going for a 100% all bases run. Well, sorry, I don’t do those—because I have ED.

Honestly, you should really consider giving any% a try, it’s a really male-dominated category right now. We’re really looking for some competition, so it would be great to see some new faces. Maybe I could show you a couple more skips? I’ve got some tech that will blow your mind. 

Alright, well, go if you say so. Let me know if you want to get together and optimize routes sometime. Thanks for buying dinner. 

Alright, chat, who’s ready for some Among Us?

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