Another shameful case of someone pretending they’re something they aren’t: this girl claims that she likes video games, but she doesn’t even depressively grind ranked matches for fourteen hours a day between tear-drenched masturbation sessions. One can’t help but ask: will these lying bitches ever stop?
“Yeah, I love to play video games!” claims amoral deceiver Janet Munroe. “I really like Halo and old-school Zelda [even though they don’t have a mode that I can get addicted to and become increasingly frustrated by over the day, causing me to try to quit, but like a beaten dog I slink back to them like they’re my master offering me a treat. I pretend to like video games, but if I really liked them, I’d spend all day hating them and myself.] I also used to play The Sims a lot as a kid.”
Munroe, who has a functional social life and very rarely screams and smashes her keyboard, went on to make the laughable claim that she actually has fun playing games, clearly not knowing that games aren’t for fun, they’re to pass the miserable time until you die.
“Fuck, I hate this,” says real gamer and truthful man of honor Matt Guthrie at 4 AM. “I just finished my ninth ranked loss in a row, and I can’t go to bed on a loss. I guess I’ll queue up again. Staying up this late would be really concerning for me if I was employed, but luckily, I’m a real gamer. I regularly beat my meat to Rule 34 of game characters before crying heavily during the loading screens. That’s the way the games are meant to be played, and I’m sick to death of femoids claiming they’re gamers when they can actually hold down a job.”
Guthrie reportedly launched into this tirade after being unmatched on Tinder by Munroe. Our sources can also confirm that the fake gamer girl also has never spent her month’s rent on a GPU for a 12% increase in performance. Learning this made Guthrie feel a little better, he reports.