No Man’s Sky Just Wants To Talk, Maybe Grab A Coffee

“I mean, it’s got a Mostly Positive on Steam now,” says Duncan Blessington, staring down at his mug of decaf. “I know that people can change and all, but I’ve been hurt in the past. I know it’s just a cup of coffee, but what if that leads to more?”

The “more” that Blessington is referring to is a repeat of the biggest let-down in recent gaming history, besides Fallout 76, Anthem, Diablo Immortal and Metal Gear Survive: but let’s move past 2018. The release of No Man’s Sky, after the game’s marketing hyped it beyond any possible expectations, left many excited gamers with a bad taste in the mouth – and a lot of them. Week after release, the game’s steam rating sat at a decisive Overwhelmingly Negative.

“It isn’t even a big game to install – maybe it wouldn’t be too much just to see what it has to say, you know?” continues Blessington. “I don’t know.”

No Man’s Sky claims that it’s been working out, however, and hanging out with a newer, better crowd. It seems like it’s really gotten its shit together: the new BEYOND update has added a wealth of quality-of-life features to the game as well as additions to make the game’s almost infinite world feel less empty. Plus, it moved out of that studio apartment and lives closer to the center of town now. Might be worth a shot.

“It’s kind of reaching that weird point now where I’ve clearly seen the message, but haven’t said anything back yet. I have to say something if I’m going to say anything at all,” an exasperated Blessington finishes. 

Plans to meet were cancelled after Blessington heard tell that No Man’s Sky has been heavily discounted at 50 percent for weeks. Slut.

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