We’ve seen the most daring and innovative gaming rigs on earth, and we’ve never seen anything like this: one innovative gamer has synced the colors of his RGB lighting to match the level of his bank account. We interviewed local gamer Ashton Firenzi for the lowdown on his epic Razer setup.
“Right now I’ve got about $4.76,” Ashton claims. When we ask how many zeroes are on that number, he replies: “None. Just the single digits, yeah. That’s four dollars and seventy-six cents, just to make sure you heard me correctly, not 476 dollars. Oh man, you thought it was four hundred, didn’t you? Man, I’m sorry. It’s nothing so extravagant, I’m afraid.”
Our reporter is visibly disappointed, as she really thought it was at least four hundred. She points out that the email clearly stated that Ashton was “pulling numbers.” Ashton responds, “I am pulling numbers! That number just so happens to be four-point-seventy-six, at the moment. No, I was doing research before you guys got here,” he says, gesturing to a dual-monitor set up with Robinhood on one screen and r/wallstreetbets on the other.
The rig can reportedly cycle through any number of colors, even animating in certain patterns to reflect the rising assets. Right now, however, the room is engulfed by a blaring, monotone red. “It’s supposed to do a really fast rainbow as soon as I hit my first mil,” Firenzi states. “Haven’t had the chance to test that quite yet. It’s like a pink siren whenever the number ends in sixty-nine, though. My roommate thought that was pretty funny, but then we had to transfer the money back to him.”
“What can I say, I guess I sort of splurged on myself for the holidays,” Ashton continues. “Got this RTX 3090 from a scalper. I know I shouldn’t support them, but I couldn’t resist. At least I got my money’s worth! Nice depreciating asset. Could’ve bought food, or a used car. Maybe sponsored an Ethiopian child.” He pats the top of the tower and smiles painfully. “Nope! I got ray tracing for Christmas. Not that any games I play support it.”
For what it’s worth, Nerfwire can confirm that Firenzi’s build is extremely poggers, and we can’t wait to see what he has in store for when he hits $420.