A new development in the dramatic saga of Reginald vs. Doublelift today, as both parties have agreed to a duel to the death to protect their honor. The duel will take place on a neutral field in Los Angeles where each will don plate armor, mount horses, and ride towards one another with lances until one dies.
“Knave, I challenge thee to a battle to the death,” said Andy “Reginald” Dinh, flanked by his various squires whom he had berated to the point of tears earlier that day. “Protect your honor on the field of battle and let God decide the victor, plus I didn’t even want you in the off-season bro stop being so salty lmao, plus ratio.”
The challenge was accepted by Yiliang “Doublelift” Peng almost immediately, surprising Reginald so much that he had to call Dyrus and Xpecial and mock them relentlessly just to let off some steam.
“Yeah, I was talking to Dennis, Soren, Stephen, Carmelo, Archibald, Mikey Boy, and Theodore, and they all said I should do it,” Doublelift recounted to his stream, using the first names of players in a game wherein everyone is known by a screen name. “I don’t think he expected me to say yes because he looked so shocked. It was hard to know for certain, because it’s difficult to express surprise without eyebrows, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he was feeling.”
“It’s pretty weird they’re doing this,” said TSM CEO and on-stream private business doer Leena Xu. “I am intimately familiar with both of their physiques, and trust me, neither of them are winning any duels.”
The two League of Legends titans will meet on a field of their choice, each adorned in plate armor covered with TSM sponsorship logos. Nerfwire predicts TSM won’t make it out of groups either way.