Local gamer Lenny Krause expressed frustration earlier this week while playing Red Dead Redemption 2, and having to sit through a twenty-three minute long, unskippable animation of Arthur Morgan dropping logs, and we don’t mean woodcutting. We mean taking a shit in the woods.
“How long is he going to go at this?” Krause wonders in disbelief as Morgan braces himself against a tree and grunts heavily. “Surely he must be getting close to done. Oh geez, here comes another wave.”
Krause typically enjoys non-stop animations of Arthur Morgan digging through drawers, skinning rabbits, or trying to fall asleep but not getting comfortable, but he found the animation of Morgan dropping the hot brown to be excessive.
“We wanted people to really feel like they are in the Old West.” said Dan Houser, former creative director of Rockstar Games. “They really need to spend that three seconds to get on the horse, that two seconds to reload their gun, and that twenty-three minutes to sweat and feel like they are pushing out Play-Doh through a mold.”
This scene of Arthur Morgan dropping the kids off at the pool will occur every eight hours of gametime, or immediately after he consumes coffee. Possible modifiers for this scene include Morgan remarking on his diet, mentioning corn he sees, and surrounding NPCs vomiting from the stench.
Krause has previously avoided this cutscene by not feeding Arthur Morgan, but this, in turn, led to unskippable animations of Morgan complaining to the NPCs for forty-five minutes about how he could really go for a fat burger right about now.
At press time, Krause threw up his hands as Arthur Morgan wiped his bottom for the thirteenth time, looked at the toilet paper, sighed, and went back for a fourteenth.