This Board Game Is Really Fun When We Get It Set Up Guys, I Promise

Alright folks, this might be better if we split things up a little bit—you know what they say, divide and conquer! I’ve got the rulebook here—I sent it last week with my personal forward and citations, did you guys have the chance to make it to at least page 44? That’s what we’re covering today. Anyway, Sarah, let me know how you’re getting on with that toothpick replication of the Taj Mahal—remember, accuracy is key. Guys, you’re gonna love this game once we get it set up. Just takes a bit of work to get there. It’s great, I promise.

Alright, Keith, I’m going to need you to get the viking funeral barge set up in the pool in the backyard, okay? It needs to be soaked in gasoline so it can really go up at any moment, and also be able to support the weight of a full, human person without sinking. Let me know if you have any questions. Anyone seen Robert with the lute?

Almost through phase one of my three-phase setup process guys, so we’re making really good progress. I know that Rebecca left already, but it’s actually faster to setup when you’re only playing with 5 people, so she can just join us next time when you tell her how worth it all of this is. Does anyone know how to tie a tie into a double Windsor? I can’t remember how I did it last time.

Oh Robert, you got the lute, that’s perfect. Put that next to the other string instruments and help Keith with the funeral barge, alright? Almost there guys, really shaping up. Also, I don’t want to rush anyone, but it looks like Antonio is almost done with his drawn-from-memory map of the New York subway system, and to her credit, Rebecca really got most of the way through highlighting every pronoun in Stephen King’s The Eyes of the Dragon, so someone’s going to have to finish the last few chapters and circle back to get the adverbs with the pink highlighter.

Stop moaning, guys—I think we can all agree this is faster than explaining how Pathfinder works with Antonio’s dumb house rules to another new player. See? All in agreement. Let’s get back to work on that funeral barge. It really has to function for a human corpse.

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