Sora Causes Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Title To Triple In Length

Shocking news today as Sora was announced as the final DLC character for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. The inclusion of the Kingdom Hearts protagonist has overjoyed Smash fans and angered Halo fans, but the most curious change caused by Sora’s presence may be forcing the game to change its title to be three times as long.

“We wanted to include Sora from the game’s launch, but Square Enix refused to allow him in a game whose title can be said in under five seconds,” said Masahiro Sakurai, creative director of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate 47.5: Fight Until You Fall: Berry Blast Based On The Novel ‘Smash’ By Sapphire. “Eventually we came to a consensus to expand on the title significantly, just like the Kingdom Hearts franchise has been doing for the past twenty-odd years. Nintendo was already going this route after Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze anyway. Sure, it will cost us a lot for our new letterhead, but hopefully Sora will make up for it.”

While the name change was relatively easy, there were some demands from Square Enix that were more difficult for the Smash team to oblige.

“We had to rewrite all of our dialogue to be much worse,” said Smash dialogue writer Saika Takahashi, who frequently leaks inside information to Nerfwire from her home in Kyoto and has asked to remain anonymous. “Square Enix threatened to walk away when we suggested having Sora say something that makes him sound like an adult rather than someone obsessed with Nightmare Before Christmas. But it wasn’t just Sora, either. I had to change Captain Falcon’s taunt from ‘show me your moves’ to ‘I demand you show me what you have so I can counter it and defeat you without even breaking a sweat. I will do this for my friends and my family. I will not let the darkness take them!’ Then he screams at the top of his lungs for four seconds.”

Square Enix is not alone in making demands for their character. RareWare previously threatened to pull Banjo if Kazooie was made to be useful in any way.

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