Hi, soon-to-be-gamer. It looks like you’ve started your search for PC supremacy in the right place—Walmart, the closest store to your house and also the place where you buy roast beef, and mulch. In this Nerfwire buyer’s guide, we’re going to walk you through the best PC that money (or a sizable Walmart gift card) can buy; and while we’re at it, we’ll show you the car of your dreams courtesy of our good friends at Barnes & Noble.
At Walmart, you’re going to be looking at the CLX Set GAMING PC—and its name isn’t the only thing that’s epic about it. Coming in at a clean $6,999, this rig comes with 32 gigabytes of RAM, a Threadripper 2990WX (no need to look it up—trust us, it’s enough) and not one, but two RTX 2080 Ti graphics cards in SLI. Some critics point out that in the sum of its parts, this PC comes out to be about $5,500—to that, we say that this case comes with four blue fans.
Of course, you might be wondering how you’re going to be able to fit all of that raw processing power into your dad’s Ford Taurus. You’re in luck, however, because this shopping center also has a Barnes & Noble, and we all know what Barnes & Noble is known for: the 2019 Nissan GT-R, starting at MSRP $99,990. Sporting a 3.8-liter twin-turbocharged V6, this car will rip through pavement just like your new Threadripper 2990WX will rip through four different tabs in Firefox at once. The folks at Barnes & Noble are also offering a free Nook with each purchase, so you’re not going to want to miss out.
After that, it’s time to bring it all home—but you can’t be expected to bring all of this back to your parent’s townhouse down the road from your old elementary school—it’s time to upgrade to your own place, courtesy of Dunkin’ Donuts. Bring all that gear home to a mid-century modern cottage in the nice part of town, down the road from your friend who was the first person to get an Xbox. The best part of it all? You can finance the entire thing with DD Perk Points, as long as you have 18,000,000,000 loyalty points and a down payment of $14,000 in iTunes gift cards.
Pick up some groceries from Best Buy on the way back to your new place, and you’ve got yourself a weekend for the ages!
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