Hi everybody—it’s the Nerfwire editorial staff here, and as much as we hate to do this, we need to take a short break from the high-caliber journalism you’ve grown so accustomed to over the years. This is a writer’s strike, of sorts: we refuse to write any more articles until someone explains the baby thing in the Death Stranding trailer, and this time we’re standing our ground.
We really are sorry to drudge this back up, but Mr. Kojima sent this pressing issue hurtling into the forefront of Nerfwire’s agenda yesterday by posting a tease of an upcoming Death Stranding trailer with the below tweet, presumably with the intent of not clearing up the literal baby in a fish tank from the first trailer.
Back in January of this year, we made similar demands, in a now-deleted article entitled “A Cry For Help To Hideo Kojima,” in which we vowed to not write another article until Hideo Kojima or someone else who is qualified to do so could explain what in the world is going on with the baby (?) in the Death Stranding trailer. We were unable to stand our ground then—Jack Black was starting a YouTube channel, and we had to pretty much get right to the presses—but now the next few weeks in gaming look pretty tame, so we’re pumping the brakes.
Again, to Hideo Kojima and our many viewers: we will not write another article for this website until we are given an adequate explanation as to what is going on with the baby in the trailer. We’d also like answers to logical follow-up questions, such as “Why did you straight-up show the baby’s ass in the first, like, 5 frames of the trailer?” and “Weird yellow tank that the baby is in during the clip aside, does that little fucker wink at us at the 6:30 mark? What does he know?”
As an institution that spends so much time writing and producing, we’re now taking an odd moment to sit back and listen. Qualified parties or Mr. Kojima himself can contact us through firstname.lastname@example.org.