Before You Reject Me Again, At Least See How Good I Am At Dragon Ball Z Budokai 3

Look, I get it. I’m not a catch. I don’t have a good job, I’m not particularly interesting, and my personal hygiene is lackluster at best. You have every reason to reject me again, but before you do, at least see how good I am at Dragon Ball Z Budokai 3.

I can see by the way you are walking away that you do not believe me. Maybe you think all I do is play Goku or Vegeta and spam Ki until I can get to Super Saiyan 4. I can assure you nothing could be further from the truth. I only main the most erotic characters: mostly Piccolo. Piccolo is so cool. Sure, I do spam Light Grenade when I fuse with Kami, but that’s the best strat! Do you expect me to try to get off my Special Beam Cannon all of the time? Ridiculous.

You probably want to go out with some other guy. Perhaps Derek. Sure, Derek is able to play the 3D Budokai Tenkaichi games, but those are simply worse in every way. Way less balanced. I bet I could crush Derek on anything, even Hercule. Hercule, Lauren! All the guys these days have moved on to Xenoverse or FighterZ but guess what? They aren’t as good as Budokai. They just aren’t, and you know this. Please stop walking away, I keep having to raise my voice.

You are looking at a guy who can beat the Cell Games consistently on the highest difficulty. I don’t even need to play on the tournament stage so I can cheese knock-outs! I am just that good. Go see if Derek can do that—hint, he can’t. Yes, I’m aware Derek spends most of his time at work or working out. I can’t top that. But I can beat everyone in the Dragon Universe without breaking a sweat.

At the end of the day, you need to ask yourself: do I want a guy who has a steady job and is handsome, or do I want a guy who has hundred-percented a game from 2004 almost four times? The answer should be clear. Oh, you called an Uber?

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