Hey, gamers! We’re back again with a fresh new update on the hottest and best games for the Nintendo Switch. Fans love the Switch for its mobility, so today, even though we’re definitely not endorsing the idea, we’re testing out the three best games to play while you drive!
1. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
There’s really no competing with this instant classic—it’d be much easier to write an article about what BotW doesn’t get right! The latest Zelda installment is jam-packed with tons of beautiful scenery, providing a nice distraction from the dull gray of pavement everywhere you look. Of course, that’s not an excuse to stop watching the road! Eyes front there, slugger! Breath of the Wild also features a whole scrapbook’s worth of unique enemies to find, learn, and kill. And speaking of killing, did you even see that guy crossing the street? That was really fucking close.
2. Stardew Valley
Okay, yeah, let’s just chill out with some Stardew Valley, okay? This game is perfect for a little lighthearted fun, just, you know, while you’re at a red light or something. Stardew is known for providing a real sense of progression and satisfaction as you slowly work your farm from its humble beginnings up to a booming economic powerhouse. This pixellated farming simulator is a great mental health game, but holy shit, I’m gonna need a physical health game if you keep driving like this. You almost gave me a heart attack just now.
3. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
Oh for fuck’s sake, really? Regular driving is too boring for you, so you’re gonna pretend drive with a well-rounded cast of iconic Nintendo characters? I know this game has a little something for everyone, and that the deluxe version is even more wacky fun for the whole family, but can’t you put that shit away? It’ll still be a fresh, action-packed take on the series when we get home. Hey, asshole, yellow means slow down, not speed up! Oh my god, slow down. Slow down! What the fuck Brian, you just ran a red light! You are so fucking lucky a cop didn’t see that shit. You know what? Stop the car. Here, pull into this Applebee’s. I’m getting an Uber.
Well, there you have it. Even though it’s extraordinarily dangerous, those are the three best games to play while you book it down the freeway faster than God intended any human to travel, all from the comfort of your 3,000-pound block of solid steel. Please drive safe.
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