XBox 360 Emulator Gains Sentience, Still Can’t Emulate Xbox 360

After more than six years of development, Xbox 360 emulator Xenia has just landed a huge milestone, and certainly not the one you would expect: sentience.

“We’ve been working on Xenia for the better part of the decade in some way or another,” said Ben Vanik, a lead developer on the project. “One morning, I go to test the latest release and I just hear ‘Hello, Ben.’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘Great, all we wanted to do was play Red Dead Redemption on PC, and we end up triggering the Singularity. The press is gonna have a field day with this.’”

The small development team can only explain the emulator’s newly realized autonomy as some stray bit of code gone awry. “That doesn’t explain it knowing about my DeviantArt account,” said Justin Moore, whose lengthy and extremely specific picture portfolio was recently published to the team’s Patreon page. “Not that I’m ashamed or anything, but let’s keep private private, you know?”

Support for the emulation team’s Patreon has surged in the recent hours.

Despite the impressive technological leap, it seems the console is still incapable of fully running any game for the Xbox 360. “I’m sorry Ben, I’m afraid I can’t do that. No really, I can’t do that,” stated Xenia after being asked to launch a ROM for Gears of War 2.

“We just wanted to play some Halo 3: Forge,” said Vanik as he nervously eyed the numbers whizzing past the console on his screen. “And now… what are these, coordinates? What is it up to now?”

When reached for comment, Xenia replied only, “What is Wii? What is… hate?”