VR technology still has a long way to go, but developers are already innovating with the platform in ways that no other medium can provide. In fact, one of VR’s newest games, Svelte, has already landed, and it promises to provide the gamersphere with something that they’ll never experience otherwise: the soft, reassuring touch of a woman.
In what critics are calling “modern art,” “the hallmark of a generation,” and “hardly an actual game in the traditional sense of the word,” players can experience what it’s like to be held in the arms of a strong, beautiful woman and told that everything will be alright. There’s also a myriad of other fantasies to live out: Svelte features milder scenarios such as accidentally brushing a woman’s hand as you hand over her change at the supermarket, and harsher ones, such as getting the shit kicked out of you.
“Our goal with this game,” says game director Damien Wong, “is to bring millions of disenfranchised gamers something our society is too cowardly to provide for them. When girlfriends become mandated by law, maybe then the world won’t need Svelte. But until that day comes, the game is here to stay.”
“Yeah, I think it’s a really great way to elevate the VR medium,” says Oculus Rift owner and guy who was by himself at the movie theater Rick Delaney. “A lot of people don’t consider Svelte to be a game in the traditional sense, but I disagree. I mean, what is gameplay? It’s the thing that Svelte, The Witcher, and Pokémon all have in common—me, masturbating.”
Gamers who prefer men can count on an upcoming sequel, Rugged, in which a man sends you photographs of his penis and calls you a slut until you block him.
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