Treyarch: “Please Stop Buying Call Of Duty, We’re So Tired”

When Nerfwire walked into Treyarch’s main offices in Santa Monica, we were excited to uncover a bit more about the Activision-owned studio that has brought us the Black Ops line of Call of Duty Games. The doors are unlocked; there is no one at the reception desk. Upon ringing the bell, we are escorted to Dan Bunting’s office. The co-studio head is lying on his couch and does not rise to meet us. On a whiteboard hanging on the wall, Call of Duty: Black Ops V? is written. Underneath, is a picture of a gun, with an exclamation point.

“Are you the journalist or are you the pizza guy?” Bunting asks our reporter. After confirming that Nerfwire had indeed not brought any pizza, Bunting remains lying down for the entirety of our interview.

“You want a scoop?” asks Bunting in a way of beginning the interview. “The next Call of Duty game is going to be called Call of Duty: Black Ops 5. We’ve got a fancy V we’re going to use, just like Grand Theft Auto. Can’t wait.”

After a pause, he continues, “The Wire ended after 5 seasons. The Wire was a really good show.”

When asked about the inclusion of the Blackout battle royale mode to Black Ops 4, Bunting replies, “How many people read this? Don’t buy Black Ops 5. We made it really bad on purpose. Please, I’m so tired. How can I be so tired when all I do is sleep all the time?”

When asked if Treyarch would be working on any new projects in the future, Bunting says, “Yeah, sometimes we shake it up around here and port one of the Modern Warfare games to the Wii. It’s the only way I can feel anymore.”

At this point, the pizza arrived, and Dan got off of the couch, signaling that the interview was over. When we confirmed if he truly wanted us to print his statement asking people not to buy his new game, he replied, “Yeah, print it. We’re going to make so much fucking money.”

This article was voted for by our community on Discord. Join us to vote every Wednesday, plus LFG and more.