Hey gamers—we know better than anybody that you need to stay fueled up during your long, taxing gaming sessions. Nerfwire’s here for you—check out our list of the top five gamer snacks to make you feel really bloated and tired by the time they’re halfway to your colon.
These are great, and come with the added, healthy benefit of not generally coming in family-sized bags for you to hoover up like a sodium vacuum. With lots of different flavors, you’re sure to enjoy the first few before your mouth just kind of goes numb from all of the salt and chemicals and you just kind of finish the bag out of habit.
4. Pizza from Thursday
A lot of people say they prefer cold pizza, and those people are disgusting and technically correct. Still, you’ll try your best to relive the glory days, toss that thing in the microwave, and enjoy cracked pepperoni, a doughier-than-before-it-went-in-the-oven crust, and molten cheese that just falls onto the plate. Make sure to keep your eyes open, that was a lot of carbs!
3. An entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s that you slowly add peanut butter to as you go
Ever looked at how many calories are in that tub of B&J? Us neither—let’s leave that spicy bit of info alone, shall we? There’s nothing better than having a separate tub of peanut butter that you use specifically to eat with Ben & Jerry’s because sometimes you use the same spoon and the ice cream kind of gets in the peanut butter. You generally like to avoid mirrors, which is why you like matte monitors.
2. Just some raw, undressed tortilla chips
The rock-bottom of chips. No dip, no cheese on top—you’re just looking to push yourself over the edge with that nice dusty salt they put on those bad boys. You’d get Doritos, but you don’t have time to run to the store and Postmates banned your account.
1. A Caesar salad
It won’t save you, but it’s worth a shot.
At this point, you’ve probably slipped into a sodium coma. Hopefully everyone who’s in voice chat hears you losing your battle with sleep apnea and calls the police. See you next time!