Yesterday, Team SoloMid suffered an embarrassing 3-1 defeat to Team Liquid. Typically, Nerfwire would publish an article mocking TSM for this pathetic display, but it’s the policy of this publication to not punch down. Nerfwire will now and forever take the high road and not kick a team when they’re down, even if they’re down ten million dollars or something crazy like that.
Sure, TSM is making it hard for us. They just lost to a sub jungler who just went 0-4 in Academy against amateur teams. That’s rough, and they don’t need us telling them that. You may be thinking, “Nerfwire, is it really punching down? TSM is a massive organization and you’re a small satirical publication!” While that is true, Nerfwire never signed Huni, thus we have a moral obligation to not make fun of those who were unfortunate enough to do so.
“Please let us off on this one,” begged TSM owner and import enthusiast Andy “Reginald” Dinh in a private email. “I know we’re going to be an easy target. We lost to Jensen when he had his monitor off for two games in a row. You could easily do some hilarious headlines like ‘PowerOfEvil Watches Helplessly As TSM Renews His Contract,’ ‘TSM Loses In Outdoor Venue After Spica Consumed By Mountain Lion,’ or even ‘Bjergsen Sells Stake In TSM For Particularly Tasty-Looking Ham.’ Please don’t write any of those, because we couldn’t take the emotional toll of seeing them get eighteen upvotes on Reddit.”
Nerfwire will be more than happy to follow Mr. Dinh’s pleading, toady requests. We will also have the good grace to not put out any content insulting players for getting zero kills over four games when only picking lane bullies. Players are people too, and any sort of mild, satirical criticism based on factual observations could be extremely hazardous to their mental health.
Nerfwire wishes TSM the best of luck in their next split’s immense disappointments and humbly suggests that Lost changes his name to something less hilarious.