This Article Is In Early Access

Hello, Nerfwire readers. 

For over two centuries now, we’ve been dedicated to providing the world with articles detailing the most vital news in the gaming landscape. For anyone who’s ever wondered how the staff craft such fine examples of journalism: you’re in luck.

Introducing our newest venture: Rough Draft! In this new program, you’ll be able to see our award-winning articles written in real time. We want our readers to feel engaged with the Nerfwire family through every step of the process. Readers will have the means to provide valuable ideas and feedback during an article’s creation. This way, readers can feel the same sense of pride with us as the piece soars in popularity, despite not receiving credit or compensation for their contributions.

Now, we present our premier early access article: Mario Concerned After Mushroom Effects Last More Than Four Hours.

As Mario gets older, he needs a little help becoming Super Mario. Since taking that mushroom, things were good but it has been more than four hours now and Mario is becoming concerned. *note: important to repeat headline in case reader forgot what they were reading*
[joke about Mario going to see Dr. Mario becaus you are supposed to see doctor if this thing happens but they are also the same person]
[joke about Luigi taking Poison Mushroom and it shrinks him] *note: must reinforce that this is a small dick joke*
*Staff Writter’s Note: It’s funny because it’s about sex.*
[joke about Bob Dole in commercials for Super Mushrooms]
[kicker]

Thank you for reading this alpha article. If you enjoyed this experience, all other articles will be presented on the Patreon page where each article can be downloaded for $25 each. You will also be notified when the article reaches its beta stage and have first access to the merch that these articles will inevitably create.

We’re aware that there are those who would accuse us of running some sort of scam with this program. Well, to the naysayers, we say

[kicker]

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