These Mental Illness Diagnoses Will Let You Get Away With Wearing A Sonic Costume To Work

It’s hard following a dress code every day. Sometimes you just want to truly express yourself, and not all offices allow that. Even when working remotely, you might be expected to dress a certain way on video calls. Nerfwire once again has your back with a simple solution: if you get diagnosed with any of these mental illnesses, you will legally be able to wear a Sonic the Hedgehog costume to work. You’re welcome.

Schizophrenia

Hearing voices is typically not a good thing, especially if the voices tell you to do something. However, if that something is to dress up like Sonic the Hedgehog at work, then you might just be in the clear. All you need to do is lie to your psychiatrist, something that we recommend doing regardless, and say that the voices are giving you an ultimatum between cleansing the world of its filthy imperfections and dressing up as Sonic. Your doctor will write you a note, and HR will find it much easier to let you dress up as a speedy hedgehog than to have you kill people. Imagine the paperwork!

Paranoid Personality Disorder

Persons afflicted with PPD constantly feel afraid someone is out to get them. With this illness, you always think that someone wants to attack you or that there is a conspiracy to kill you. So you need to make it clear that that person is Dr. Robotnik, or Dr. Eggman if you prefer. In order to overcome your constant fear of the mad doctor, you must become his greatest enemy: Sonic. Dress up like this every day, or else your boss will get suspicious. There’s a new dress code in town.

Jerusalem Syndrome

Jerusalem Syndrome is when you have a bunch of religiously motivated revelations about yourself when you visit Jerusalem. Some people will leave believing themselves to be Jesus Christ or a prophet. You just need to go to Jerusalem and then convince your psychiatrist that you had a revelation of a new religion: one in which Sonic is the Messiah, and the key tenet of this worship is dressing up as him. If your employer takes issue with that, you can sue them for religious discrimination.

Sonic the Hedgehog Disease

This is a disease in which you slowly turn into Sonic the Hedgehog. Our editor has it, and he has already turned blue and developed an obsession with golden rings. Claim you have this and wear the Sonic costume, it’ll be like shaving your head before chemotherapy, or so you’ll say.

Note that we originally planned on including general anxiety disorder, but this only allows you to dress up as Tails. Good luck at work, Sonic fans!

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