Hey gamers—it’s the Christmas season, and you know what that means: it’s time to leverage the fact that your parents work full-time to get at least two full-priced games out of them in exchange for spending four hours with your extended family. Sound good? Eyes on the prize, folks. In our last Nerfwire article before the new year, we wanted to guide you through the difficult landscape of explaining to your parents which games you’ll want, and prime you for the shitty games you’ll inevitably receive.
The Outer Worlds
Finally, everything you wanted out of a Fallout game, but made by the people who know how to do it right. There was quite a bit of acclaim around this title, but it stayed small enough that you weren’t spoiled. You can definitely sink a good few hours into The Outer Worlds, so you’ll probably really wish that it’s the game you’re holding in your hands when you unwrap the following game:
Fuck. You clearly used the word “fallout” too many times when explaining how The Outer Worlds is everything that 76 wasn’t. It’s all about using the right keywords when speaking to the woman who refers to your Blu-ray player as “the Nintendo.”
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
EA made a good game, they didn’t put microtransactions in it, and all the aliens have Jersey accents for some reason. This one is sure to be an instant classic. In a year where we couldn’t exactly rely on the franchise to deliver consistent films, it’s nice to have a solid extended universe game to tool around in.
No Man’s Sky
In all honesty, No Man’s Sky has gotten much better over time and has really turned around, but there’s no way your dad knew that, so this is still a spit in the face. Didn’t he see A New Hope in theaters?
A bitchin’ Spongebob Plug & Play console
Yeah, you’re going to have to figure out how to hook these AV cables up to the OLED TV in the living room, but his nose is the joystick, and it has like six games.
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