Tetris Company Announces Hip New Hashtag Block

“Sheesh! Call us a milk crate pyramid because we’re climbing up!” announced the Tetris Company in a press release Tuesday debuting a new, hip block for the game, the “hashtag.”

“You talked, and we listened,” continues the press release, stating: “Today, we’re blessing the world, as the hashtag piece is now flossing its way to all current versions of Tetris, 4 [sic] FREE! Or do you not like free sh!t [sic]? That’s right, get your swag on like a boss when you totally pwn some n00bs [sic] with this amazing tetromino!” The statement concludes with four rows of the “100” emoji.

Much of the competitive Tetris community has reacted negatively, with most fans wanting to first address the amount of times the word “fam” was used during the press release.

“Oh my god, please no,” was the immediate response from Chris Bidwell, commentator and staple of the competitive Tetris community. “Mathematically, it’s not even a tetromino. It completely messes with the parity of the game, and it leaves a gap in the middle? This is the dirtiest Tetris I’ve ever seen.”

“We’re going to clap back at you, Bidwell,” the Tetris Company retorted on Twitter, and then further implied that they love living in Bidwell’s head rent-free while using an Among Us unicode character dabbing, “plus ratio.”

The Tetris Company’s tweet did not receive more likes than Bidwell’s.

At press time, Sega announced that they too would be reaching out to today’s youth by adding a new skin to Puyo Puyo that makes all the sprites look like poop emojis, sponsored by Juul.

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