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Tag: Microsoft

Gaming

343 Industries: ‘If You Want Playable Elites, You Should Have Been Born Rich’

March 28, 2021March 28, 2021

343 Industries, current developer of the Halo series multiplayer, recently received backlash over the lack of playable Elites in Halo Infinite. In response to this, 343 told fans that if …

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Community

Opinion: I Actually Did Fuck Your Mom Last Night, We Are In Love And Will Get Married, Also She Sucked My Balls, Please Drive The Warthog So I Can Capture This Flag

March 20, 2021March 20, 2021

Hey kid, why don’t you shut the fuck up? I can hear you talking shit to me on that three-dollar microphone. But guess what? I fucked your mom last night. …

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Community

Halo 4 On MCC Takes Man Back To First Days Experiencing Massive Disappointment

December 8, 2020December 8, 2020

“Man, this really takes me back,” says Charlie Marr, shaking his head with a smile. “They really captured it, I mean the whole experience. It’s like I’m living it all …

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Gaming

Halo Infinite Director Fired After Investigation Finds He Liked Halo 4

November 13, 2020November 13, 2020

More bad news from 343 Industries as Chris Lee, the director of Halo Infinite, was fired when an investigation revealed that he actually liked Halo 4. The game’s troubled production …

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Gaming

Bill Gates Currently ‘Misery’-ing Todd Howard Into Finishing The Elder Scrolls VI

October 10, 2020October 10, 2020

“It’s just us up here, Todd,” says billionaire and household name Bill Gates, stoking the fire in a remote cabin, miles away from civilization. He turns to Todd Howard, who …

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Community

Calling It ‘Halo Indefinite’ And Other Ways To Hide Your Broken Heart Behind Jokes

August 25, 2020August 25, 2020

Hey, slugger—we just wanted to check in on ya after hearing that sick “Haha, more like ‘Halo Indefinite,’ am I right guys, because the release is delayed?” that you laid …

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Gaming

Microsoft Flight Simulator Adds Battle Royale Mode

May 12, 2020January 19, 2021

The Microsoft Flight Simulator franchise has come a long way since its first release in 1982. The newest installment, set to release this year, may be the most groundbreaking edition …

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Technology

Game Industry Giants Donate $500 Million To Help Continue Spread Of COVID-19

April 21, 2020May 1, 2020

In a mass charitable donation of unprecedented scale, dozens of the world’s largest gaming and tech giants, including Microsoft, Sony, and Tencent, have raised over $500 million towards addressing this …

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Technology

Halo Reach On PC Still Requires Friend’s Xbox To Play It

December 10, 2019May 1, 2020

“When you’re making a PC port, especially one that is this far estranged from its original release date, it’s important to cover your bases on a couple of things,” says …

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Gaming

Man Almost Done With Powerpoint Presentation To Convince Friends To Play Minecraft With Him

August 5, 2019March 2, 2021

“Alright Dave, you only get one shot at this,” says David Mooney, cracking his knuckles and looking down at a thin stack of notecards in front of his keyboard. “Let’s …

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