Nerfwire Game Awards 2021
It’s that time of year again—a time for us to reflect on the gaming greats of the last year and to highlight remarkable gaming experiences, as well as the other …
Read MoreTag: Halo
Halo Infinite Multiplayer Came Out This Week Because I Sacrificed Fattened Goat To Baal
Alright, I might catch some flak for this from the liberals, but I have a fact for you: Halo Infinite was released yesterday because I sacrificed a fattened goat to …
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Man Starting To Doubt Free Will After 17th Consecutive Oddball Match
Existentially terrifying news today as the seventeenth Oddball game in a row caused local man Mark Pepper to doubt his capacity for free will. Pepper had been playing Halo Infinite …
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Download Speed Scales Inversely With Excitement
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Master Chief Quietly Defecates Into Suit’s Waste System During Cutscene
Today, during a gravely important meeting between the Arbiter and UNSC forces, the sound of Master Chief quietly grunting and defecating into his waste system went completely unnoticed. The meeting, …
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With E3 Over, We Can Finally Contemplate That Crushing Emptiness
E3 2021 ended last week, and we’ve finally had time to process all of the announcements! From Elden Ring to Battlefield 2042 to Shin Megami Tensei V and many, many …
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343 Industries: ‘If You Want Playable Elites, You Should Have Been Born Rich’
343 Industries, current developer of the Halo series multiplayer, recently received backlash over the lack of playable Elites in Halo Infinite. In response to this, 343 told fans that if …
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Opinion: I Actually Did Fuck Your Mom Last Night, We Are In Love And Will Get Married, Also She Sucked My Balls, Please Drive The Warthog So I Can Capture This Flag
Hey kid, why don’t you shut the fuck up? I can hear you talking shit to me on that three-dollar microphone. But guess what? I fucked your mom last night. …
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Halo 4 On MCC Takes Man Back To First Days Experiencing Massive Disappointment
“Man, this really takes me back,” says Charlie Marr, shaking his head with a smile. “They really captured it, I mean the whole experience. It’s like I’m living it all …
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Halo Infinite Director Fired After Investigation Finds He Liked Halo 4
More bad news from 343 Industries as Chris Lee, the director of Halo Infinite, was fired when an investigation revealed that he actually liked Halo 4. The game’s troubled production …
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