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Tag: CD Projekt Red

News in Pictures

Cyberpunk Team Says They May Add Multiplayer, But Also Maybe Go Fuck Yourself

January 11, 2021January 11, 2021

For more upcoming features, check out News in Pictures. This headline was voted for by our community on Discord. Join us to vote every Wednesday, and if you’re part of our Patreon, every …

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Community

Cyberpunk Devs Assured They Will Be Given $300 Performance Bonus Regardless Of Reviews

December 22, 2020December 22, 2020

In what is being called “a huge win for workers’ rights” by the CD Projekt Red executive board, Cyberpunk 2077’s team of dedicated developers were assured this week that they’ll …

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Gaming

Cyberpunk 2077 Review: We Didn’t Love It But We Are Too Scared Of Twitter To Not Give It A High Score

December 9, 2020December 9, 2020

The game of the decade has finally arrived! Now that the review embargo has been lifted, there is one question on everyone’s minds: is it good? It’s fine. However, we’re …

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Gaming

Cyberpunk 2077 Canceled Due To Lack Of Interest

December 2, 2020December 2, 2020

In yet another disappointing announcement for the already-miniscule and rapidly dwindling fanbase of Cyberpunk 2077, developer CD Projekt Red has announced today that they’re finally throwing in the towel once …

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Community

Avatar Customization Doesn’t Allow Creation Of Character Ugly Enough To Accurately Represent You

November 17, 2020November 17, 2020

Shameful: despite numerous advancements in facial technology, the new RPG Cyberpunk 2077’s character creation does not allow you to make your character ugly enough to accurately represent you. This is …

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Gaming

Cyberpunk Developer Afraid Of His Shadow Means Six More Weeks of Delays

November 17, 2020November 17, 2020

Bad news, fellow Keanu stans—looks like the one light in our bleak and empty lives, CD Projekt Red’s long-awaited and appropriately-hyped greatest game ever created, Cyberpunk 2077, has once again …

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Gaming

CD Projekt Red Developers In Panic After Not Starting This Cyberpunk 2077 Thing Till Now

October 28, 2020October 28, 2020

Panic set in today at the CD Projekt Red offices after the Polish company realized that people are actually gonna pay for this thing and they’re going to have to …

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Gaming

CD Projekt Red Devs Forced To Work 20-Hour Days Brainstorming New Ways To Satirize Unfettered Capitalism

October 13, 2020October 13, 2020

In Wroclaw, Poland, the developers of the upcoming Cyberpunk 2077 are being compelled to work 20-hour days in order to come up with new ways to satirize unfettered capitalism and …

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Gaming

Cyberpunk AF: CD Projekt Red Generously Gifts Mandatory Adderall To Entire Dev Team

October 13, 2020October 13, 2020

CD Projekt Red, known for The Witcher 3, the much-anticipated release of Cyberpunk 2077, and for not knowing the difference between a C and a K, is as good as …

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Community

Cyberpunk 2077: Now That I Have Your Attention, Everyone Here Loves You And Your Drinking Is Damaging Us

October 6, 2020October 17, 2020

Breaking news for Cyberpunk 2077 fans! Now that you’re here, this is an intervention. Everyone here loves you and your drinking is hurting us as much as it’s hurting you. …

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