Metroidvania protagonist Winslow Cunningham, a tech-knight from the 47th century, was embarrassed to discover that in his newest adventure, he had forgotten all of the skills and abilities he had developed in his previous adventures.
“I took a lot of time off since slaying the Mecha-Gorgon,” said the cybernetically enhanced super-soldier of a bleak, dystopian future. “It’s sort of like when you have to go back to math class after summer and you completely forgot the quadratic equation, except in my case it’s forgetting how to use my plasma whip to slay the fel-beasts of the Gorgon’s demon army. It’s pretty embarrassing; I feel like I’m starting over at square one. I used to be able to kill, like, forty zombie-lords in one second, but now just one gives me a huge amount of trouble. I should really write shit down this time, or rent a storage unit to hold all the cool shit I pick up from bosses.”
The Mecha-Gorgon, who was recently resurrected (making Winslow’s previous deeds completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things), expressed a mixture of happiness and frustration at his archrival’s forgetfulness.
“This definitely does work out in my favor,” said the hellish mixture of technology and dark magic. “If he just remembered how to do frost blasts and how to use the Blade of Amon-Sum, then he would probably smoke me in ten seconds. Winslow’s forgetfulness is the only thing that allows me to keep coming back. This is like the fifteenth time we’ve done this shit, and each time, he completely blanks on how to roll up into a tiny ball so he can get past tight corridors. If he just wrote down that he has to shoot the red spots on my tentacles after I miss a hit on him, that would probably save him days of work. All things considered, I should be a passing nuisance at best, but it’s like I’m fighting Drew Barrymore in Fifty First Dates.”
At time of publication, Winslow was slapping himself on the head after realizing he left his suit that would allow him to survive cold zones at home again.
Join our community on Discord, find us on Twitch, Facebook, and Twitter, and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive benefits.
