PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds Water Level Not Going Over So Well

Reception of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds recent developer update was mixed yesterday, mainly due to the imminent release of a new map for the developer’s massively popular battle royale. “We really want to switch up the experience, and the best way to do that is to drastically change the player’s environment,” the release read. “Not just a mountain here, a house there—a dramatic overhaul of the cover, the objectives… the ground.”

Screenshots of the map revealed a seemingly endless ocean beneath a blue sky. “One jet ski will randomly spawn somewhere on the map. We’re going to drop the first loot crate early, too, so whoever manages to land on it will be able to take out the guy who gets the jet ski.”

The rest of the players are expected to have to swim. When pressed on the reason for the drastic change in vision, Brendan Greene (PlayerUnknown) stated, “You know in a nightmare when you feel like you can’t run? That’s how life is, constantly trying to escape you and other people’s demons but never being able to keep your head above water. That’s the feeling we tried to emulate in this new map; the wide expanse of water symbolizing the slog and struggle of life, and one guy on a jet ski mowing everyone down to symbolize everyone’s demons.”

Mr. Greene could not be reached for further comment. If you have any information on the whereabouts of Brendan Greene, please contact PUBG Corporation at info@playbattlegrounds.com.