Pantheon Wishes Sargeras Didn’t Have To Be So ‘On’ All The Time

“He’s not here, is he? I don’t think I could deal with him right now.”

So says Aggramar, the Defender, leaning forward in his throne within the Seat of the Pantheon. “I know we’ve got a history, me and him, and I appreciate the resurrection and all, but God, can a guy just chill for a second? It’s always ‘crusade’ this and ‘unending’ that. I’d ask him how his day’s going and he’d just go off about Dark Titans and all of this crazy shit. Like, Sarge, I’m sitting in this chair for a reason. I know this. It’s like he’s trying to be a self-important dick.”

“Also, he killed me, so there’s that.”

“Are you talking about Sargeras? He’s not here, is he?” interjects Aman’Thul, Highfather of the Pantheon, brandishing a mug of hot chocolate. “I know we had that fight over the whole ‘ordering of the universe’ fiasco, but let’s keep work at work, right? I wonder if he talks to his Legion buddies like this. Probably does.”

The two Titans had plenty to say about Sargeras, both seeming to agree that they didn’t feel like they “know the real him,” and wished he would drop the act once in a while. “And I can’t believe he just up and stabbed Azeroth,” Aggramar said to a nodding Aman’Thul. “How awkward is it going to be with her now?”

“There’s just no reasoning with the guy, either,” Aman’Thul went on. “I don’t get his logic. Like, oh, I’ve got this hot chocolate here, it’s warm and delicious, but it could get cold and not be good anymore, so I should purge all hot chocolate. Just enjoy the little marshmallows for a change.”

“Sometimes we just want to talk about nothing and unwind after a long eternity,” notes Eonar, the Life-Binder. “I just wish he could hang out for once. I’m the only woman up here, you don’t hear me constantly bitching about it. And I could,” she adds, glancing over to Aman’Thul and Aggramar. “Maybe he’ll cool it a little during his eternal imprisonment. Why did he come up, anyway? He’s not here, is he?”

When asked for comment, Sargeras had very little to say about his former peers. “God, you’d think Illidan would stop monologuing when I had company over at the very least. Going on and on about vengeance—the guy just seems like he’s trying really hard. What are you trying to prove? It’s just us here. Forever.”