Opinion: If This RPG Won’t Let Me Be A Werewolf Vampire Mermaid Lesbian, What’s The Point?

So your RPG has lots of character customization options. Okay, neat. And there are body modifications you can acquire throughout the world—vampire, werewolf, mermaid, etc. Not to mention a variety of progressive, non-traditional romance options. Cool, I see you. But here’s the deal: if I can’t do all of that at once—if you won’t let me be a werewolf vampire mermaid lesbian—you can throw all that shit in the garbage.

I can’t be a vampire/werewolf for “lore reasons,” is that it, coward? Listen, if the same city can have multiple baseball teams, which I assume is the case, I should be able to bear a savage lycanthropic curse just as easily as any virulent undead blood pact. And a fish tail, also. What’s the fucking point otherwise?

And you’re telling me that if I do perform a dark sacrament to warp myself into a twisted parody of the human I once was, some of the romanceable characters will turn away in horror at what I’ve become? This is who I am, Sharon. I’m out here collecting inhuman transformations like trading cards, and if you can’t deal with that, you never truly understood me in the first place.

Some people want to climb the highest mountain in every country on earth, and some people want to obtain body parts from every eldritch abomination under the sun. Who are you to judge? Bluebirds fly over the rainbow, why can’t I swoop in with one angel wing and one bat wing and crush those dumbass birds between my powerful reptilian jaws?

Oh, it’s in the DLC? Okay, I can wait.

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