New Study Reveals Kids Are Definitely Doing Those Fortnite Dances At Prom Or Whatever

A new study conducted by the Pew Research Center suggests that kids everywhere are definitely doing those Fornite dances at prom or whatever. The study uses information collected from countries all over the world, revealing a harmless but somehow mildly irritating trend among the global under-18 demographic. The study also contains the text of direct interviews from many of the impacted youths.

“Oh yeah, I love flossing. Watch!” exclaims 11-year-old Adaku Okonkwo of Lagos, Nigeria, cheerfully using language that would denote an entirely different activity in any normal world. “My friends from school all do it too. It’s our favorite one!”

“Yeah, there’s a group of kids doing the dances at pretty much every major school function I attend,” says 15-year-old Roshan Lal of Hyderabad, India with a dead glaze in his eye. “Every. Single. One. The same dances, over and over, for hours. I can’t escape it. I mean, look, it’s not a bad game, I just… I prefer PUBG, okay?” Roshan’s father reports the young boy has been having trouble making friends.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is,” sighs 14-year-old Alejandra Iglesias of Ciudad Victoria, Mexico. “Adults are always giving us [expletive] for our tastes like they weren’t into even dumber stuff when they were kids. The only difference is that we all have cameras in our pockets now. God, I wish I had footage of my parents’ prom. It would eviscerate them.”

“Remember disco?” adds 15-year-old Riley Winchester of Jacksonville, USA.

“I’ve been practicing ballet since the age of 8,” complains 17-year-old Markus Bakker of Amsterdam, Netherlands. “Now my friends all tease me because I can’t ‘milly rock.’ We have fun playing Fortnite, but honestly, I just want this whole cultural phenomenon to blow over. I can’t wait until we switch to Apex Legends. There’s no dancing, but it is an EA game, so. Pros and cons.”

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