New Nintendo Console Playable Underwater And Nowhere Else

If you’re a fan of Nintendo, you’ve surely heard the news. Not even two years after the highly anticipated Nintendo Switch, the industry titan just announced a brand new follow-up console, and you could certainly say it’s making waves! The new Nintendo Swim, available in 2019, will be playable underwater and nowhere else!

Each Nintendo Swim will come equipped with a sensor bar on the side that detects the presence of water and forces the machine to power down completely when it detects none. This function leaves any unsaved data upstream without a paddle, and of course, it wouldn’t be Nintendo if you didn’t have to carefully tweak the sensor until it was just right.

Nintendo has sometimes been criticized as a “casual” company, so it’s good to see them extending an olive branch to one of their most commonly overlooked demographics: hardcore swimmers, a group that hasn’t had anything to look forward to since Wii Sports, or for the truly desperate, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games.

The Nintendo Swim, which will come hermetically sealed in a waterproof covering, will ship with a guaranteed warranty of two days.

“Pushing boundaries is what we strive to do here at Nintendo,” said Reggie Fils-Aimé, president of Nintendo’s American branch. “We’re always asking ourselves, ‘What is a console?’ Because we truly have no goddamn clue.”

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