Great news for Capcom as their blockbuster Monster Hunter: World was recently voted Game of the Year by the Academy Of People Who Run From Class To Class With Their Arms Behind Them Like Naruto. This prestigious award was previously awarded to such luminary games as Sonic Unleashed, every Kingdom Hearts game, and bizarrely, Custer’s Revenge.
“There is just no better game,” said Academy president and man who strapped his backpack down really tight around his chest and sprinted to another class as soon as the bell rang with his arms outstretched behind him Jack Mayer. “Those cats are so cute, and they follow you around speaking Japanese. I learned some Japanese to impress the onna. That’s Japanese for ‘women.’ I consider myself pretty worldly. I think I want to move to Japan after I graduate, maybe teach English over there. They love Americans. Also those swords are so big, it’s so badass! I have a collection of swords; the katana is the most perfect weapon ever developed. It could totally destroy a knight. The best part of Monster Hunter was—” the interview was then cut short as the bell rang and Jack immediately sprinted out into the hallway to get to Discrete Math.
Monster Hunter: World was praised by the Academy for its presence of multiple belts on any given character, the size of the average character’s hair, and the almost impossible to use multiplayer system, as it allowed for the Academy members to just play by themselves.
“I love the game,” said the visibly out of breath Academy voter James Kootreiber at his lunch period. “The women are so beautiful, and I already ordered a special body pillow of one of them. I like to imagine that my character also goes from mission to mission as fast as possible, and holds her arms behind her so that she can be aerodynamic. Scientists actually think that’s the fastest way to run. I do it so I can be the first to English class and then sit there for four minutes as the rest of the students arrive in an orderly fashion. Also I jerk off to the game.”
In other late-breaking news, Crusader Kings III was just awarded Game Of The Year by the Federation of People Who Eat Alone At The Library.