Man Sits In Capital City Advertising Enchanting Instead Of Getting Real Job

In an inspiring tale of entrepreneurial brilliance, ingenuity, and depression, this man is spending time in a WoW capital city advertising enchanting services instead of going out and getting an actual job! You don’t get to see this kind of sheer commitment often: a man so devoted to his craft of getting imaginary internet gold and so uninterested in getting actual useful human money.

“YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD ENCHANTER LFW, YOUR MATS, TIPS APPRECIATED!” yells Warcraft Warren Buffet Jimmy “Boofsjenkem” Boyle. “I like to come up with a fun thing to say in order to sell enchanting to people. I want them to know that even though I spend four to eight hours a day sitting on top of the Orgrimmar mailbox, spamming a pre-written message in the trade chat, I’m still a fun guy and they can trust me. It’s a lot of hard work, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it for a slightly better looking mount.”

Some close to Boyle do not feel quite as enthusiastic about his enchanting ventures and perpetual sedentary state.

“Go outside and get a job,” says sister and fed-up benefactor Zoe Boyle. “You do nothing but play as a stupid fucking horse-person and type stuff all day. You aren’t even doing anything, just standing still. Is that even fun? I can’t imagine that would be enjoyable, but here you sit doing nothing but that for hours on end. Are you allergic to getting laid? Is that the problem? Also I need Crusader enchant on my mace, please do that.”

Boyle’s entrepreneurial spirit somehow does not translate over to his resume, the first few lines of which read as follows: “COMPUTER ENGINEER LFW, TIPS APPRECIATED, JAVASCRIPT AND PYTHON RECIPES LEARNED! ON ORG BANK PST FOR PRICES!”

At press time, Boyle was busy trying to disenchant his third rejection letter of the week.

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