Man Scrolling Through PUBG Patch Notes Like Ex-Girlfriend’s Facebook Page

19-year-old Cameron Rodriguez sits alone in a dark room while idly scrolling through the patch notes for version 4.2—the latest release of PlayerUnkown’s Battlegrounds—on his dusty old desktop. “It can’t hurt to take a look.”

“Oh, new weather patterns. That’s pretty cool. I always liked the random weather patterns, you know? Made every game feel fresh.” Cameron slumps his head against his free hand, elbow propped up on the desk. “Apex doesn’t have that. Always sunny in Apex.”

“Which is fine,” he finishes, looking down at his taskbar.

“Oh, they gave Erangel a visual update?” Cameron leans in, nodding slowly. “Looks good. They’ve got that snow map now, too. Really switching it up with the maps and the weather.”

The icon on the taskbar remains silent.

Rodriguez clicks over to Steam and gives a cursory scroll through his library. PUBG is installed, updated, ready for launch. In just a few seconds he could be looking at a new lobby screen. “I’ve probably got chests to open or whatever,” he mumbles.

A few moments pass. “Oh, the netcode is still terrible. Fuck this game. This is such an awful fucking game.”

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