YouTuber Jon “JonTron” Jafari is a regular guy just like you. He wakes up, brushes his teeth, browses 4chan for three hours to get his political opinions, and then goes about his day. The thing that separates us, however, is that Mr. Jafari is living in a state of constant shock that he got away with all the unequivocally disgusting racist shit he said.
“First of all, wealthy blacks still commit more crimes than poor whites,” JonTron told us, racistly. “Like, to be clear, I still believe all that and haven’t really given any public statements condemning my ideas or apologizing for them. In fact, I still post racist dog whistles on my Twitter every week or so. Frankly, I’m shocked I haven’t been canceled yet, but it just hasn’t happened. I even made a FlexTape video a good six months after that meme had died and people lapped that shit up. I kind of wish I’d lost some popularity so I could finally start shaving my facial hair in a way that resembles an adult.”
JonTron was previously castigated by his fanbase for appearing on Destiny’s Twitch channel and arguing for over an hour that the white race was being diminished and destroyed by diversity and immigrants, not seeing a shred of irony despite being Iranian himself.
“I sort of live in fear every day,” continued Jafari after showing us his room full of World War II memorabilia. “Like, when is the other shoe going to drop? I said some things that are abhorrent and racist by any measure. It isn’t like I did a microaggression or anything, I straight up called all black people criminals. I am a very racist man, and when people realize that, I’m either ruined, or I’ll make three times as much money streaming to people as ignorant and hateful as me. I guess I could just replace myself with Voyboy and hope no one notices.”
JonTron proceeded to start filming a Let’s Play video in which he browsed 4chan’s /pol/ board for six hours and agreed with every post he saw.