John Wick Sure Appreciates You Looting All This Stuff

Hey, man—thanks.

I’ve got to say, I’m pleasantly surprised by the variety of colors tumbling out of your corpse. I mean, I really appreciate you going through all the trouble of gathering all this stuff for me. You really pulled out all the stops here—really saved me a trip to Tilted. I appreciate the hand cannon, too—you know what, just to show how much I appreciate this, I’m even going to use it.

You gave me such a good deal, too. I really appreciate how you ran over here with absolutely no plan and just died right away. I’d gladly have traded the 2 HP you cost me just for the wood you dropped alone. There’s a word for people like you, besides bad—and that word is humanitarian.

When I win this thing—and believe me, with all this stone, I’m going to win this thing—I’m going to win it for you. Except that all of the rewards and credit for winning are going to go directly to me and stay on my account. Still, you’re getting a hell of a symbolic victory out of this one. Maybe “vicarious” victory. Symbolic might be too strong a word.

I know that it probably looks like I’m building this elaborate fort on top of your corpse because I’m getting shot from that hill over there, but that’s not the case. This isn’t to protect me—it’s a monument to celebrate you, and how you clearly—and I really hope this is true—meant to die so easily and give me all of this stuff. For both of us, let’s just call it intentional.

Oh, shit. I didn’t even hear that guy sneak up on me while I was monologuing here. Shit.

Well, I hope he appreciates us gathering all this stuff for him.