Internet To Spend Another Five Weeks Arguing Whether PS5 Is A Sandwich

In a joint press statement made only hours ago, internet representatives have formally disclosed that the countless memes poking fun at the PlayStation 5’s appearance are moving into their next phase: users across Twitter, Reddit, and other platforms will now begin the debate on whether the next new next-gen console does—or does not—technically qualify as a sandwich.

“It doesn’t really matter which stance you take. So long as you staunchly support your own and vehemently denounce everyone else’s, you’re contributing to the discussion,” the statement reads, getting some serious heavy lifting out of the word “contributing.” The statement goes on to cite and compare with other, equally important debates: notable examples include whether or not a hotdog is a sandwich, how many holes are in a straw, whether you hear “yanny” or “laurel,” how dogs would wear pants, the result of 6÷2(1+2), and what color a dress is.

Experts anticipate that everyone will be sick to death of the debate by week four, at which point a group of newcomers (most likely on Facebook) will discover it and reignite the controversy. YouTubers and other influencers are expected to provide surface-level first impressions with very little research if any, while their many followers feel either vindication or betrayal in response.

“If it gets big enough, CNN might get involved,” claims MIT researcher Shanice Bradley. “That’s usually when the whole thing starts to die down.”

While the recently revealed PS5 has already been compared to an impressive litany of things, including a three-ring binder, a duckbill, a jacket with a popped collar, a space heater, postmodern architecture, the “PogChamp” emote, a tall hat, the Pokemon Shellder, the girl robot from WALL-E, and the head of Cell from the Dragon Ball franchise, the introduction of the sandwich comparison may cause an online squabble the likes of which haven’t been seen since April.

We would normally ask our readers what they think about such an important topic, but at press time, we were still researching the solution to 6÷2(1+2).

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