Inconsiderate Asshole Buys Friends Monster Hunter: World

This last Wednesday, local computer science student and inconsiderate friend Barry Radder purchased Monster Hunter: World to play on his PC. People close to Barry report that he did this without considering his friends’ busy schedules or the fact that they didn’t have the time to commit to a Monster Hunter game right now.

“I mean, yeah, thanks for the fucking game,” says Richard Walsh, who witnessed Radder gifting the game to their friend group live via a notification on his computer. “I’m probably going to put 100 hours into it this week alone, and it’s already Tuesday. This is the equivalent of buying someone a German Shepherd for Christmas. Now I’m going to be forced to thoroughly enjoy a complex fighting system and engaging world, instead of playing Overwatch for three hours until we lose too many times in a row.”

Sarah Egleton was also affected by Barry’s decision to purchase her the full-priced game. “I just checked my Steam app on my phone and saw that he gifted it. Walked right up to my boss and told him I could only work part-time for the next three months. I mean, for fuck’s sake, Barry. I have to pay rent. You have to consult with us before making these kinds of decisions. Anyway, you get to have a cat?”

Monster Hunter: World is a multiplayer action RPG brought to us from Capcom, and it’s the latest installment in a series known for brutally long boss fights and a progression system that can feel like a grind. Since its PC release in August, the game has sold over 10 million units worldwide, with official numbers showing that 2.5 million of those sales were from people like Radder, who purchased the game for themselves, and the other 7.5 million sales come from friends who were obliged to play the game.

“Yeah, I don’t get what everyone’s complaining about,” says Gavin Breen, who did not receive a gift copy from Radder. “Looks like I’m buying a 60 dollar game so that I can continue to have friends.”

On another, unrelated note, Nerfwire will be going on a hiatus for the next three months.