I Wrote An Article Called ‘Fart Cry 6’ And Nerfwire Refuses To Publish It

One would think that in the modern day, media censorship would be unacceptable, and a relic of a less civilized time. I am saddened to report that this is not the case, as Nerfwire is silencing my journalistic voice and not allowing me to publish an article titled “Fart Cry 6.”

Dear reader, I know that when you see a Charles Bill article, you expect it to speak truth to power. Additionally, you expect it to be informative and insightful. I pride myself in my ability to shed the bias of my parent publication, but in this case, they intervened directly. I guess “Fart Cry 6” would offend their big-money sponsors too much, and that scares them.

Typically my publishers have supported me in my endeavors to strip back the layers of filth and grime that we find in the gaming industry, but tragically it seems that their support of journalistic integrity has come to an abrupt end. “Fart Cry 6” exposed many things about Ubisoft’s upcoming sequel, mostly about how flatulent the main character is. That is something people in an informed society need to know. That is my job as a representative of the Fourth Estate.

Reader, you might think that in America, such censorship would be impossible. You would generally be right, but unfortunately, our editor-in-chief lives in (it pains me to even say this word) Europe. Specifically the Republic of Éire, or in layperson’s terms, Ireland. I am so angry that I would be willing to dox him, but I don’t actually know where he lives, so I’m assuming it’s something like 410 Guinness Street or 800 Leprechaun Lane.

I beg you to not let this go quietly. Let the editors know your distaste. Hopefully, this doesn’t influence my upcoming article, “Ass Effect: Andromeda.”

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