How Does He Poop: An In-Depth Analysis On Genji And What It Means To Be Human

Genji Shimada. Man, or machine? The correct answer for most seems to be a little bit of both, but this raises the question—the universe of Overwatch is shared by both omnic, human, and whatever Roadhog is. What is it, really, to be human? Does the line lie beyond the omnics, or does it stop with a hybrid such as Shimada? What we’re really asking here is: where’s the poop go?

To begin our inquiry—no, our journey—into the study of what it truly means to be human, we start with the below picture, evidencing that Genji does indeed consume liquids, and possibly even solid food.

Seems like he’s already finished whatever was in that glass, which for the purposes of this thought experiment we are assuming was not motor oil.

While you may see a simple man-machine hybrid enjoying a drink with his fellow heroes above, we see a pretty massive problem. Where exactly is that drink going? And what of the multi-grain crackers and artisanal cheese plate that undoubtedly came before? As you can see from the picture below, we’re not exactly seeing any exit routes in particular:

If you want to see the other side, there’s plenty of pictures on Google.

This brings us back to the “human” question. After a long night of merriment with your friends, at some point, you’re going to end up in the great equalizer of humanity: the bathroom. You are never more human than you are when you’re in there, doing what humans do: shitting, everywhere. Are we to believe that Genji is joining us in that meeting room of the species, thus granting him access to this primal club of humanity? Or is he just kind of throwing that stuff up later, or connecting himself to a hose, or something?

We did a poll of this one bathroom, and Genji Shimada was nowhere to be found. Coincidence?

Is the world ready for the truth? Is Genji just doing that thing where he pretends to eat food by pouring it next to his face when he’s facing the camera in profile? Does he just go to the bathroom and stare at his phone for five minutes? Do him and that green dragon ever talk, or is it strictly professional? Unfortunately, these answers will just have to wait until the Overwatch lore is updated in thirty to forty years.

Join us next time when we ask the question: Hammond—literally what the fuck?