I knew marrying a gamer wouldn’t be easy. I thought that the social awkwardness, the “sub-optimal” hygiene, and the hours upon hours of solitary gaming time would push me over the edge, but here we are, still happily married thirty years later. I love my gaming husband Brandon, but I think he may have finally taken a step too far. Ever since he started playing Elden Ring, he refuses to stop calling my periods the “scarlet rot.”
Menstruation is a perfectly natural and mundane thing, and not some fantasy ailment from a video game written by the Game of Thrones guy. Scarlet rot is both not a real thing, and not an apt name for my period, which while scarlet, has nothing whatsoever to do with rot. I’m not expecting Brandon to be less squeamish about my reproductive organs, I just wish that instead of scarlet rot, he said literally anything else.
The worst part of this is that Brandon may assume I’m entirely ignorant of what scarlet rot even is in the first place. Of course I know that scarlet rot is the ailment that originates from inside of Malenia the Severed, and that after the shattering of the Elden Ring, she was not able to keep it at bay, thus unleashing it all over Caelid after her battle with Radahn.
When I asked him why he insisted on calling my time of the month that, or if he understood the lore implications, he just ignored me and kept on attempting Margit. I just wish that I knew what the real-life preserving boluses of this situation were.
I’m absolutely leaving him if he can’t even beat Margit with a summon.