Heroin Addicts Complain Heroin Not Addicting Enough

The latest heroin outbreak, which kicked off on August 14, has not been well-received by the community, to put it lightly. Heroin developers have been criticized for rushing the production of the heroin, and many users feel that it’s just not addicting enough to keep up with last year’s supply.

“This new heroin doesn’t get me high like it used to,” says Isaiah Greene, who sets aside a portion of his monthly income to make sure he can sit around and inject heroin for the bulk of his free time. “I miss the classic heroin. The stuff from last year was really good too, but this year is a bust.”

“It’s reached the point where I’m only doing heroin a couple days a week,” adds avid opioid enthusiast Samantha Burgundy. “I just don’t feel incentivized to inject any more often than that. It just feels like a whole lot of work for no payoff. Not to mention all the bugs. Last week it was like I sort of fell through the floor? It was trippy. The engine is getting really outdated.”

“I’m not even sure that heroin is worth my money right now,” says Daniel McKenzie, who has been using heroin since its launch in 2004. “I’m better off just going with meth. At least until they sort all of this stuff out. Honestly, I think that meth could really be the heroin killer we’ve been waiting for. I’m holding on to heroin for now, just because it’s what my friends enjoy, but I’ll bet when meth comes out we’ll all switch over as a group.”

“We’ll definitely play Heroin Classic when it comes out, though. Y’know, opium.”