Finally, a video game award show for the common man. The Annual Game Awards (AGA) is blatantly biased towards games with the bustiest characters. We’ve spent far too long waiting and watching boring games with flat-chested women win accolades, and now, at long last, the tables have turned.
The AGA started their show off with a bang, announcing their pick for character of the year: Marie Rose from Dead or Alive Xtreme 3. This was a controversial choice, beating out Ellie from The Last of Us 2 and Sam Bridges from Death Stranding. Additionally, this game was released four years ago, and has won this award every year since.
The AGA then revealed their winner for Best RPG: Dead or Alive Xtreme 3, beating out Baldur’s Gate 3, World of Warcraft, and The Outer Worlds. This choice was defended by the commissioner of the AGA, who made the compelling argument that none of those games had characters “with the bodacious baps that gamers crave.”
The AGA has garnered a great deal of ire over the years for granting repeated awards to games such as Dead or Alive Xtreme 3. We at Nerfwire, however, would like to point out that they have also given awards to games as varied as Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 or even Dead or Alive Xtreme. Clearly, the AGA’s critics have not done their research. League of Legends and Final Fantasy VII were also given honorable mentions for their notable advancements in real meaty honkers.
The big moment of the night came when the AGA awarded their game of the year award to Sonic Mania, with the caveat that a mod had to be used to give Sonic slamtastic bazongas.