Has Capitalism Gone Too Far? This Game Charges Money To Play It

Uh-oh, comrades: capitalism is at it again. The gaming industry is already awash with the contradictions of capitalism, but indie developer Protosquid is taking things up a notch. They’re asking for five whole US dollars for their new game, Arctic Lightning, and they’re charging you upfront. Talk about dragons hoarding wealth—when will it be enough?

“We really put our heart and soul into this game,” says Protosquid’s head of design and neo-fascist chud Greg Banderweis. “We hope that passion shines through into the experience. It’s our first real game, so we’re charging just five dollars, but if you supported our Kickstarter, your Steam key is already in your email.” We find it interesting how wealthy lobbyists can simply bribe their way into Protosquid’s inner circle.

We know what the anti-equality bootlickers reading this article might be thinking: “But that’s such a modest price, and it’s for their own labor.” But consider this: how many free games are there, not just on Steam, but on mobile platforms as well? How difficult could it truly be? The people at my anarcho-vegan syndicalist nudist commune would never think of charging money for a video game. We’ve never made one—but we could. There is no ethical consumption on Steam, Kickstarter, or anywhere outside of our little slice of paradise right off of Route 25 in Casper, Wyoming.

What’s next? Expounding upon the game’s strengths to create a sequel, further fueling the capitalist train that left the station years ago when robber barons decimated the bison-packed plains of the United States? Will these game developers stop at nothing? I mean, really, how many 2007, two-previous-owners, slight-clouding-on-the-headlights Priuses does one man need?

Luckily, Rage 2 is going to be free on the Epic Store next week, so I won’t have to trade the twine knots that we use as currency at the commune for a gift card.

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