Groundbreaking YouTube Philosopher Says Fallout 76 Is Really Bad

“You don’t just go out and try to make a masterpiece,” says YouTube influencer and modern-day Aristotle xXSilverPhoeniXx. “I mean, I knew I was brave coming out with such a controversial opinion, especially about such an established publisher like Bethesda, but those are the kinds of risks you need to take as an artist. I mean, that’s how you get six million views.”

The magnum opus that Silver Phoenix is referring to here is a recent game review for Fallout 76. The video is titled “fallout bad.” The thumbnail contains a crude image of Todd Howard with a red X over his face and a holy effigy of Vault Boy giving the viewer a thumbs-down. The sacred text enshrined in the description contains links to his various social media profiles. The eleven-minute video contains four ads and several royalty-free songs composed by Kevin MacLeod. It has seven million views. We’re told this is more than the Bible.

“Todd Howard has betrayed us, Bethesda is a dead company, and Fallout is a ruined franchise,” posits the person that Auguste Rodin had in mind when sculpting “The Thinker.” This masterfully crafted thesis went on to become the framework for his video essay, which has eight million views. The rest of the video contains footage of other players’ buggy experiences of the beta: and how lucky they are to be part of the founding declaration of the new order of modern thought, “fallout bad.”

Silver Phoenix, who will usher in a new age of intellectual superiority and enlightenment through the use of a game capture card and Adobe Premiere alone, claims that the next corporate giant he’s planning to take down is EA, who the magician of words and logic refers to as “bad.” What bone does David have to pick with this Goliath? Microtransactions. “They’re bad,” he claims, in a sentence that was almost impossible to capture in the English language in order to include in this article.

When asked what new classic Silver Phoenix was going to release to the world next, he simply replies, “I think I’ll just make another quick Fallout 76 video. The first one did pretty good, so.”

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