Yesterday, the Unassailable Order of the Glorious PC Master Race announced a “cheat day” for Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, explaining their decision in a online statement.
“We of the Master Race do not tolerate accusations of inferiority or even equality,” reads the official statement, continuing in this manner for several more sentences. “We possess the utmost confidence that ours is a sacred and unimpeachable supremacy above all other gaming mediums, including the console peasants, the handheld vagrants, and the mobile belligerents.”
“However, it would be negligent at best, idolatrous at worst, to overlook the self-evident truth that this new Zelda is dope as hell,” the statement reads. The Order went on to praise the game for its lush, enchanting environments and minimal yet compelling soundtrack, shortly followed by an uncharacteristically frantic tirade harshly and emphatically criticizing the game’s frame rate, which is capped at 30 frames per second.
The statement continues, “All card-carrying members of the Master Race are hereby permitted to play The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild penalty-free for a twenty-four hour period beginning at midnight on the third Sunday of each month. The month of June is the exception and will not be provided a cheat day, as all Master Race Nobility are expected to be fully preoccupied with the Steam Summer Sale during this period.”
Many PC gamers have expressed gratitude and relief in response to these new provisions, and console gamers in turn have welcomed them to enjoy the 2017 Game of the Year winner. However, most individuals surveyed “really just want all this to stop.”