All over the world, people are suffering, but perhaps nowhere more than at Blizzard’s headquarters in sunny Irvine, California. Ever since the 2015 release of their game and fifth horseman of the apocalypse Heroes of the Storm, hundreds of good, decent folks have been condemned to work on the title as their full-time job. That’s why Nerfwire is pleased to announce a new initiative: for just pennies a day, you can provide a HotS dev with the tools they need to survive without torturing themselves working on this bad, terrible game—a noun which we are forced to use to describe the title as it technically falls under the word’s definition.
Blizzard recently contributed a small act of charity when it announced it would be shifting a large number of Heroes devs to other projects and discontinuing the game’s competitive leagues. However, pro teams and average players alike expressed their frustration that this move did not go nearly far enough to alleviate the pain we are seeing every day. Luckily, that’s about to change.
“We have decided to team up with Nerfwire,” says Blizzard CEO J. Allen Brack, “and we deeply appreciate their efforts in putting this nightmare to rest and finally ending production on Heroes of the Storm altogether. For years, we’ve had to give away goodies in other Blizzard games just to get people to consider giving Heroes a shot. But if enough people contribute to Nerfwire’s charity drive, we will stop. Finally, we can stop, and I can see my wife again.”
Every penny that we collect during this drive will go towards the “Just Play League” Foundation, which is dedicated to relocating MOBA experts to positions in their industry that aren’t “ass.”
Heroes of the Storm is expected to just disappear quietly sometime in the next year or so with our help, or, let’s be honest, without our help. Please, don’t wait: donate today.