Finally, An Overwatch Hero For Spherical People

Overwatch is a game lauded for its diversity, but even with a cast as varied as that of Blizzard’s highly acclaimed shooter, it can be easy for certain groups to feel left behind. That’s why the release of its latest rising star, Hammond, feels so vital, so needed—finally, an Overwatch hero for spherical people.

Before Wrecking Ball, the closest thing we had to a perfect sphere was Roadhog, and you’ll notice he’s far from the ideal model, still featuring a variety of appendages on his rotund torso that don’t even retract. Sloppy geometric form, to put it lightly. Hammond’s mech, in contrast, perfectly represents the very real and beautiful bodies that spherical people like myself deserve to be proud of.


And no one can deny that Wrecking Ball is a babe! His smooth and silky curves (or, curve) have kept me going these past few weeks with their crystalline perfection. Blizzard even nailed the way we catch fire when rolling really fast!

“When I saw the original lineup for Overwatch, I was furious,” claims local orb Pete Douglas, who is perfectly round. “They call that lineup inclusive? And then, when they finally include a black character, he has arms, legs, and even a head. He wasn’t even kind of oval shaped, like my pal Wobbly Terry.”

When we asked the community how they felt about the inclusion, reception was mixed. While many players were glad to have Hammond fighting by their side, others were disappointed that Blizzard didn’t push the envelope far enough, such as Barry Mackett, who exists exclusively on a one-dimensional plane. Barry could not be reached for comment, however, as we couldn’t find him, and we have no idea how he wrote to us in the first place.