UK resident Daniel Grisham reported today that he is making the preparations to use the healthcare card against US resident Laura Chen. Daniel is currently engaged in a “heated” Twitter debate against Laura regarding the alleged superiority of one country over the other. The debate began when Chen made a viral tweet mocking the absurdity of the common UK dish “bangers and mash,” saying it sounded more like a “British Tom and Jerry” than a food item. Since then, Grisham reports that the argument has only spiraled.
“I quote-retweeted Laura to my impressive nine hundred followers,” Daniel states. “I hoped that would teach her a lesson about mocking the Great British Empire, but she just kept retaliating. I tried making fun of how most Americans don’t own kettles and just heat up water for their tea in the microwave like barbarians, but she clapped back by saying that the word ‘colour’ absolutely doesn’t need a U. She’s left me with no choice: it’s healthcare time, baby. Oh yeah, I’m going there.” [Editor’s note: while writing this article, Nerfwire’s spellcheck identified “colour” as misspelled.]
“I sure hope Dan isn’t taking this too seriously,” Laura claims. “This is just some fun little banter about trivial cultural differences, but he seems to be getting a bit fired up. His next tweet should probably be about how Americans wear silly hats or something, not about how our tyrannical government uses our hard-earned tax dollars to wage infinite overseas wars at the behest of our corporate overlords rather than supplying us with basic services like healthcare. Like, read the room, Dan. I live here. I know.”
At press time, Chen had blocked Grisham from responding further.