Embezzling From Your Kid’s College Fund 101: Building The Ultimate PC

Hello and welcome to another Nerfwire Build Guide! It’s Christmas time, and you know what that means—it’s time to splurge a little! It’s a great time with plenty of discounts from major electronics retailers, and if the kids still believe in Santa, you can just say that he brought you that RTX 2080 and your wife won’t be able to say a thing.

However, budgets usually get a little tight around the holidays, making it difficult to really optimize your rig to its full potential. Have no fear with this one—Nerfwire is here! In this guide, we’ll show you how to identify which of your children is least likely to have a successful college career, and the most effective ways to get money out of that pesky savings fund and into the hands of a cashier at your nearest Best Buy or Microcenter.

The first steps here are easy. If you have one child, then good news! You can skip this step—however, make sure to follow the rest of this guide regardless of this single child’s scholarly potential, because VR sure is getting pricey nowadays! If you find yourself in the position of having multiple children, you’re going to need to assess the mental aptitude of those little youngsters and be really honest with yourself about which one is going to burn out halfway through community college and try to survive as a freelance wedding photographer for a while before moving back home. We don’t want to tell you how to raise your kids or anything, but it’s definitely Tanner.

Now you’ll find that there’s only one thing holding you back from all the RGB you can handle: depending on the terms of your kid’s college fund, you may not be able to remove any money unless it’s specifically for educational purposes, or until your child has reached a certain age. Have you ever heard the phrase, “You have to spend money to make money?” Well, “You have to hire an actor to pretend he’s your son so you can move all of the funds from his college savings account into an account with a different bank opened under a fake name!”

You’ve got to be careful with actors—make sure to pay them adequately so they don’t report you to the feds or try to make off with some of the cash in the college fund. After you’ve got the money in your hands, the sky’s the limit, as long as the sky is the 400 dollars that was in the account in the first place.

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