Tragedy occurred at TwitchCon earlier this weekend as multiple attendees including streamer and Internet Naked Woman Adriana Chechik suffering serious injuries as a result of a poorly constructed foam pit. But there is one public figure who has come out smiling: the notorious ball pit from DashCon 2014.
“Oh, you all laughed at me back then!” said the famously cursed convention attraction. “You all said I was gross, unsettling, and a genuine biohazard. At least I never tried to murder anyone!”
It’s unknown if victims of the TwitchCon foam pit will sue for damages, but it is known that “victims of the TwitchCon foam pit” is a phrase we never thought we would have to say.
“You know, that foam pit was sponsored by Lenovo and Intel,” the DashCon ball pit remarked from the sinister warehouse where it still resides. “I was just thrown together by some bloggers doing their best. And look which one of us ended up with a body count!”
The DashCon ball pit has lived in infamy for the past eight years, but it’s hopeful people will look upon it a little more kindly from now on. “I may be covered in piss,” the ball pit said proudly, “But at least I’m not covered in blood.”